Title: In The Black
Author: Dana Doggett
E-mail: danadoggett@yahoo.com
Date: October 6, 2005

Rating: PG-13 
Category: Jayne/Kaylee

Beta: Kristi

Spoilers: "Serenity" – The BDM, general spoilers from the "Firefly" series, 
nothing that'll stand out too much.


Note: This is my first ever "Firefly" fanfic. Jayne'n'Kaylee are my favorite 
characters on the show, and well… I just in this past year really got into 
the Jaylee relationship :) Now it's one of my favorite things about re-
watching the episodes.

Summary: Jayne's reflection.


-----

It ain't like me to give a rut about others.

It ain't like me to feel this way about her.

I should have been payin' more attention to them Reavers as they 
attacked me and my crew… Mal's crew. I just couldn't keep myself from 
watchin' out for her.

So many times I've seen her in the past. Handlin' guns in the way I'd try 
to work on the guts of Serenity. I saw the Reaver to her high left, and I 
told her where to aim and shoot. She listened to me. Saved her life.

I'm her protector, though she don't know it. I'd do anything to make sure 
she be all right out here in the black. I act tough and mean, and hell I've 
even made not so shiny comments about her, but that don't mean that I 
don't feel the same loneliness she feels. I made those comments out of 
my jealousy of her obvious attraction to the doctor. I don't mean to hurt 
her feelings.

I've been on this boat for a long time now, and I know that these people 
don't always take me seriously. Kaylee's the only one that spends time 
with me. Not because she has to, but because she wants to.

I like to think of this crew as a family, perhaps even my own, but when I 
look back on it, I only ever am with them when we got chow, or when we 
got to meet to make plans for a job. 

But with Kaylee… Kaylee, I think, sees me for the man that I try to hide 
from the others. That's why she's most likely to be with me when it ain't 
because she gotta. S'what makes her so sweet.

Not to be crude. Ok… to be crude, but without meanin' no disrespect, I 
think if she only got over the doctor and figure out my feelin's for her, she 
won't have to resort to batteries to twix her neathers, I'd be there to do 
that for her, but there's no ruttin' way I go about it as fast as the doctor 
did. That just ain't right. Takin' advantage of her like he did after we 
almost got killed by 'em Reavers.

Of course she likes things polished and pretty, and I ain't either of those 
things. So for now, lonely… out here in the black… I'll be in my bunk.

END

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If you enjoyed this story I would love to hear from you. Please send your feedback to the 
following e-mail address:

danadoggett@yahoo.com

(constructive criticism is also welcome)